These 21 questions for a new relationship are important to ask if you want to find out more about new your partner.
Starting a new relationship can be exciting and frightening in equal measure. That’s why we’ve put together these questions to ask in a new relationship so you can get to know your partner better.
It can be unnerving if you’re in a new relationship and you’re not sure if you have the same interests and views as your partner. The excitement can quickly lead to anxiety unless you address it.
If you’re wondering whether your partner is right for you or you have the same values and interests, these new relationship questions will give you the answers you’re looking for.
1. Are you at a point in your life where you’re looking for commitment?
This is an important question to ask when you’re in a new relationship. If you’re looking for commitment at this point in your life, you’ll want to get that from your new partner. Otherwise, the relationship will struggle from the beginning. asking this question is essential to ensure you’re both on the same page and the relationship can get off to a great start.
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2. What inspires you every day?
Finding out what inspires your partner is important. It gives you an insight into their character and what motivates them. It’s important to know this early on to find out what makes them tick. Sharing your inspirations will bring you closer together and allow you to understand what drives your partner. Who knows, their inspirations might rub off on you!
3. Out of all the things on your bucket list, what is something you must do before you die?
Finding out what someone wants to accomplish before they die is an indication of who they are. Bucket lists can be eclectic and it’s likely there will be things you think are a bit strange. But there’s likely to be plenty of things you both want to do too. Finding out what’s on your partner’s bucket list at the start of a new relationship is useful because you can plan to visit these places or do some of these activities, or surprise your partner with them as a gift on special occasions.
4. What do your friends mean to you?
Friends are important. There’s no getting away from this. We all love our friends and love spending time with them. It’s likely you’ll meet your partner’s friends in the first few weeks of your new relationship. Finding out how important they are and what the relationship between your partner and their friends is like is important. It allows you to see how close they are, whether they like you or not and what they’re like around their friends. The company your partner keeps is a good indication of how they are.
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5. How do you feel about your relationship with your parents?
Again, this is another key one of our 21 questions for a new relationship. The relationship between your partner and their parents is a proxy for the relationship between the two of you. If there’s a tension between them and their parents is that because of underlying issues or does it mean there could be issues between the two of you down the road. On the flip side, if their relationship is good, it may indicate a healthy attitude to relationships which will stand the pair of you in good stead.
6. Out of everyone you’ve lost in your life, who’s passing was the most difficult to deal with?
This is a sensitive question and you should ask this with care. Loss is difficult for us all to deal with and it may seem slightly wrong to ask whose loss affected you the most, but the truth is some losses hit harder than others. Asking this question will allow you to learn more about your partner, and their past and give you a chance to bond emotionally too.
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7. Do you handle change well?
Change is a fundamental part of life, so finding out how well your partner deals with it is key. If you have a long relationship, you’re bound to g through a variety of changes together. If your partner is scared of change or averse to it, it’s best to find out early so you can work on these issues.
8. Where in the world have you always wanted to travel to?
It might not seem that important but understanding where your partner has always wanted to visit is important. If you have very different ideas of where you’d like to visit, it could be a sign you might not be as compatible as you think. If your partner wants to visit cities, but you want to go on hiking adventures, it might be difficult for a long-term relationship to last. On the other hand, it could be a case of getting stuck in and finding out you have more in common with your partner than you realise.
9. What is your most remarkable hidden talent?
This is more of a fun question and might open your eyes to a side of your partner you weren’t aware of. Being a new couple, you won’t know your partner intimately, so asking a question such as this one is a great way to learn more about them and have an interesting conversation as a result.
10. Who are you closest to in your family?
Again, this one is similar to the relationship with their parent’s question. Asking who your boyfriend/girlfriend is closest to in their family will tell you more about them than you realise. We all have one person in our family we’re closest to. Their reasons for this and what they like about their family member will be eye-opening and reveal what they value in a relationship.
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11. Do you still speak to any of your ex-partners?
Whether your partner speaks to any of their exes is an important question for a number of reasons. It could mean one of several things. Maybe they’re not over their most recent ex, or they’re hankering over a lost love. They could just be on friendly terms and keep in contact, or they could be considering whether they might get back together or not. There’s nothing wrong with speaking to your exes or not speaking to them, but the reasons why they’re in contact with them will tell you a lot.
12. Do you want kids one day?
Another important question which you should ask if you’re looking for a deep commitment. One of the biggest problems you might face in a relationship is one person wants kids while the other doesn’t. It’s best to get this out into the open at the start, as then you both know where you stand.
13. How would you define cheating?
Again, another key question that’s important to ask at the start of any new relationship. Defining what cheating is for you will give you and your partner peace of mind and let you both know you’re on the same page. It sets boundaries for what is and what isn’t acceptable and should this need to be brought up later, you can reference the question and highlight how you felt.
14. What are you most grateful for in your life right now?
A bit of a cheesy question but one that gives you an insight into your partner’s mindset and character. We’re all grateful for something, so finding what your partner is grateful for will tell you more about them. It might reveal sides of their character you were unaware of.
15. Do you think being romantic is corny?
This might seem like a silly question but if you and your partner are on the wrong page about your views on romance it can have issues down the line. Some people love romantic gestures, while others find them uncomfortable. Before you take the plunge and do something romantic for your new partner, it’s best to get their views on romance so you can be sure your ideas go down well.
16. What’s one thing you wish men and women knew more about each other?
This is a great question to ask that should allow you to create stronger bonds between the two of you. Men and women are different in many ways, but some of the differences can be a surprise to some of us. Finding out what your partner believes the opposite sex should know more about will allow the two of you to have a better understanding of what makes each other tick and avoid any potential conflicts.
17. If you had one week to live, what would you do?
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This is a hypothetical question and one you can have a lot of fun with. While it’s only a bit of fun, what your partner answers will be revealing. It might reveal something they’ve always wanted to do, an ambition they secretly harbor, or something spontaneous they’d like to at least once. If you want to score extra points, make a mental note of your partner’s answers and try and find a way of making this list come true.
18. What did you last get emotional over something?
We all get emotional at some point, the key question is what will that be over. will it be over something trivial that will blow over in a matter of hours or is it a more substantive issue that lingers for a while? The answer to this could tell you a lot about the temperament of your partner. If they find small issues make them emotional it could be a worrying sign, or it could mean they’re going through a patch. The opposite applies too, if your partner finds little makes them emotional it could be a sign they have a heart of stone or that they’re stoic in nature.
19. What do you love most about your best friends?
The traits your partner loves about the best friends will reflect the traits that they value in general, and likely value in a partner too. This is an important question to ask as it lets you know what your partner looks for in a friend and the values they hold dear.
20. When you retire, what will you do with your time?
A revealing question that will tell you what your partner is looking forward to doing with their free time. Normally, what people would like to do when they retire is an indication of what they would do if they didn’t have to work today. If you have similar interests and things you’d like to do when you’re older, it could be a sign of a fruitful relationship.
21. What family traditions do you continue to this day?
Finding out what family traditions your partner still follows is an interesting question to ask. It tells you what their family values above all else. If you’re looking for family traditions to start in the future, this is a good segway into that conversation and will let you find out more about your partner.
Looking For More Questions?
Questions to ask your boyfriend – Got a new boyfriend? Here’s a great list of questions you can ask them.
Questions to ask your girlfriend – If you want to know what to ask your girlfriend when the two of you are together, this is the list for you.
Deep questions for couples – A set of questions that will lead to some introspective conversations between the two of you.