These deep questions for couples are ideal to ask if you want to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner.
Talking honestly and openly about your relationship is a good way to ensure it’s built on strong foundations. Our list of tough relationship questions will ensure that’s the case.
We have a range of questions from what’s working in your relationship, what’s not and what you can improve. These intimate questions to ask your partner will lead to some fascinating conversations.
Those between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend should ensure your relationship is stronger afterwards and ready to face any challenges together.
Best Deep Questions For Couples
1. When we went on our first date, what was the first thing you noticed about me?
2. What impressed you most about me when we met?
3. What value do you think would be most important to pass on to our children?
4. Knowing what you know now, what are my top five flaws?
5. If you could change anything about our relationship, what would it be and why?
6. What’s one thing you would never want to change about me?
7. When have I most surprised you during our relationship?
8. Is being a parent more challenging or more straightforward than you thought?
9. What has been one of your favorite moments in our relationship?
10. What stage of our relationship have you found the most challenging?
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11. If we could go anywhere on vacation right now, where would you go and why?
12. Do you think we have both changed since we first met?
13. What activity, that we do together, do you enjoy so much you’ll never get tired of doing it?
14. Did you think this relationship was going to last this long when we got together initially?
15. Do you feel our relationship ever holds you back?
16. Is being in a relationship easier or harder than you thought?
17. Are you afraid that with age, we might grow apart in the relationship?
18. Be honest, is there anything I could do to make this relationship better for you?
19. Can I do anything to make you feel more satisfied and content with where you are in your life?
20. If I had to move away for work, would you still be willing to continue the relationship?
21. What life event had a positive impact on you as a person?
22. Who’s a hero of yours, and what qualities do you like about them?
23. What was the last thing you did that you genuinely got excited at?
24. As a couple, what do you think are our greatest strengths and weaknesses?
25. What makes our relationship unique compared to others around us?
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26. How has our relationship changed since we first met?
27. What things would cause you to end a relationship?
28. What do you think is the most adventurous thing we’ve ever done together?
29. What characteristics do you think are essential for a solid and healthy relationship?
30. Has there been a time when you needed reassurance from me, but I failed to give it?
31. Who was your favorite author as a child?
32. Do you have any secrets from me? Do you feel comfortable talking about them?
33. What scared you most about ageing?
34. Do you hold any regrets in life?
35. What was your dream career growing up as a child? Do you think you will ever succeed in getting this career if you aren’t doing it already?
36. Have you ever been hurt or betrayed by someone close to you? Tell me what happened.
37. What has been a challenge in your life so far? How did you overcome it?
38. Would you like to change anything about yourself?
39. Do you think we share the same opinions on a lot of topics?
40. Why do you think we are so compatible?
41. How well do you think we handle disagreements?
42. What has been our biggest obstacle?
43. Is there anything you need to let go of in life?
44. Name a time when you felt most fulfilled?
45. What are your most significant weaknesses as a person?
46. When you appear to be worried or hurt by something, what can I do to support you?
47. Do you think we would make good parents?
48. If you had to describe me to someone, what would your description include?
49. Do you think it’s ok for couples to keep secrets from each other?
50. How can I assure you that I love you?
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51. What issue which can sometimes be seen as controversial do you have a strong opinion about it?
52. What are some actions you take to show me that I’m important in your life?
53. What can I do to show how much I appreciate you and all you do for us as a family?
54. What’s still a significant goal in your life that you haven’t yet achieved?
55. Where do you see yourself ten years from now?
56. Do you think there is ever a situation where it’s ok to lie?
57. If you had the power, what would you change about the world?
58. Is there a time you can remember when you felt the real you?
59. What are the two things you like most about yourself?
60. What joint possession that we own do you cherish the most?
61. If I was to pass away suddenly, what would you say at my funeral?
62. Tell me a time when I made you laugh uncontrollably?
63. What do you think has been our biggest struggle?
64. In life, what values do you consider to be the most important?
65. What does your perfect day look like?
66. What in your life are you most grateful for?
67. In five minutes, tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible
68. If you could wake up tomorrow with one quality or talent, what would it be and why?
69. If a psychic could tell your future, what would you want to know?
70. What has been our most significant accomplishment as a couple?
71. Do you think it’s essential for couples to be friends first and lovers second?
72. What is your most treasured memory of us?
73. What does friendship mean to you?
74. Does the role of love and affection play a big part in your life?
75. How close is your family? Do you feel that you had a loving childhood?
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76. Do you consider your relationship with your mother to be strong?
77. Tell me what you like about me?
78. What has been an extremely embarrassing moment in your life?
79. When did you last cry in front of someone?
80. If you were to lose your ability to talk this evening, what would you regret not saying to someone?
81. If our house was to catch on fire and all your loved ones were out of the property, what other thing would you save?
82. What dreams do you have when it comes to spending the future together?
83. Do you have a rule you would never break?
84. Who do you think shows more emotion between us?
85. What do we both contribute to this relationship?
86. Would you change anything about me?
87. Describe our love in one word?
88. Do you consider me to be your soulmate?
89. What romantic thing that I do, do you like the most?
90. When did you feel the most open with me in this relationship?
91. If we were to end the relationship tomorrow, what would you miss the most?
92. Is there a question you’ve always wanted to ask me?
93. What always gets you excited?
94. Does our love ever frighten you?
95. What can’t you get enough of in our relationship?
96. Do you believe in destiny?
97. What often scares you about falling in love with me?
98. Describe me in one word?
99. Is there anything you would like to see more from me in this relationship?
100. Do you consider me to be a romantic?
101. Do you think you show your love enough to me?
102. Would you ever want to be in a causal relationship?
103. Do you think soulmates exist?
104. What one thing that I hate about myself, do you secretly love?
105. Do I listen enough to you?
106. Do you think I’ve been sensitive through the difficult times we’ve had?
107. Are you always open and honest with me?
108. What physical features do you like most about me?
109. What location is unique to both of us?
110. When did you know you loved me?
111. Do you think you’re born with a partner already selected for you?
112. What memory always sticks in your head about how we first met?
113. If you weren’t the father of our children, what would you have liked to do instead?
114. What has been the most valuable lesson you’ve learned from your parents?
115. What are your favorite date night dinner recipes to cook together?
116. Would you rather be mega-rich or deeply in love?
117. When you were younger, did you expect you would be in a relationship like this?
118. What happened in the last dream you had about us?
119. What do you like about my personality?
120. Tell me something you’re ashamed of from your past?
Deep Questions To Ask Him
121. Have you been hurt in the past?
122. How do you calm yourself down when you get angry?
123. Did you have any fears before getting into this relationship?
124. What do you like to read daily?
125. In your opinion, what is the most emotional movie scene of all time?
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126. Do you like to have your own company?
127. Up to now, when have you felt most alive?
128. Do you sometimes choose to ignore things that are difficult to discuss?
129. Have you had a time in your life when you felt like a complete failure?
130. What personality types do you most enjoy being around?
131. Do you think that you live life currently to the full?
132. Do you think religion is good or bad for the world?
133. Before meeting me, what was the biggest secret you had kept?
134. Do you consider yourself to be spiritual?
135. What political/world issue is most important to you?
136. Before you met me, had you ever had your heart broken by someone?
137. Has there ever been an occasion when you cried tears of joy?
138. Have you broken someone’s heart before?
139. Do you think the universe guides us in life?
140. What change you’ve made in your life are you most proud of?
141. What feelings do you get when you return to the place where you grew up?
142. What do you usually find yourself dreaming about?
143. Do you think fate is real?
144. Do you think the reality we live in is real? Or are we part of one big computer game?
145. Do you believe in the concept of marriage?
146. If you had the opportunity never to feel pain, would you?
147. What do you think happens to us after we die?
148. What instantly comes to mind when I say beauty?
149. Where do you think real happiness comes from?
150. Is freedom in a relationship important to you?
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Deep Questions To Ask Her
151. If I had to answer any questions truthfully, what would you ask me and why?
152. What’s the best life lesson you’ve learnt to date?
153. Are your priorities different now from what they were as a teenager?
154. Do you think it’s important to be nice to everyone, even if you don’t like the other person?
155. Who do you trust with your life?
156. Do you enjoy being friends with people who are extroverts or introverts?
157. What’s something you could do every day for a week and never get bored?
158. What activity always helps you to recharge your batteries?
159. Have you ever had a nightmare involving you and me?
160. What must you achieve before you leave this world?
161. Do you think people’s star sign influences the type of partner they will eventually settle down with?
162. When did you last feel in awe at something?
163. Would you sacrifice your life for mine?
164. What life skills need to be taught in school but aren’t?
165. What do you find most unsettling about your life currently?
166. What people are you happy you no longer have in your life?
167. Do you think you’re massively different to your friends?
168. If you hadn’t met me, would you have been content with being single for the rest of your life?
169. Do you think our dreams have meaning?
170. Are you someone that’s superstitious?
171. Do you believe we can overcome things if we have the right mindset?
172. What characteristics do you least like when looking for love?
173. Have you missed a past opportunity you now massively regret?
174. If you could change careers tomorrow, what would you do instead?
175. Do you think you forgive people easily?
176. Do you think your parent’s relationship has affected the way you see our relationship?
177. Did you ever experience anger issues as a child?
178. What parts of your parents do you think you’ve inherited?
179. What moment in childhood scared you the most?
180. What toy meant the most to you as a child?
181. Do you still have any childhood habits?
182. What do you think your childhood self would think of your adult self today?
183. How much time going out with friends do you think is reasonable when you’re in a relationship?
184. What’s the worst mistake a parent can make when bringing up children?
185. If we could experience something new as a couple, what would it be and why?
186. Do you believe in old traditions when it comes to males and females in a relationship?
187. If you could take me somewhere that meant a lot to me as a child, where would it be and why?
188. Do you ever get bored with your life currently?
189. Is there anything I do that turns you off?
190. Do you have any secret fantasies?
191. Do you think our lives will change for good or for worse when we have children?
192. When we eventually become parents, would you still make spending quality time together a priority?
193. What would be your philosophy when raising children?
194. What traits that we have would you like your children to inherit?
195. If you woke up tomorrow with the ability not to fear, what would you do?
196. What has been the biggest blessing in disguise in your life so far?
197. What’s something that you find hard to tolerate?
198. What does a perfect day look like to you?
199. What’s always something that never ends well when it comes to our relationship?
200. What do you think our relationship is lacking?
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Tom is a travel writer and Co-Founder of Questions About Everything. He grew up in the UK and enjoys spending his time traveling to new places, supporting Liverpool FC, and blogging about his adventures. He spent two years teaching English in Barcelona and frequently utilized question games and conversation starters as part of his lesson plans. Learn more about Tom on our About page.