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185 Deep Questions to Ask a Girl to Enjoy a Serious Conversation

A photo of Tom who is the Co-Founder of Questions About Everything

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This collection of the best deep questions to ask a girl is perfect to get to know her intellectual side. There are a wide variety of topics covered including her future plans, principles, and goals. They’re sure to lead to an intellectual discussion.

She will be encouraged to expand on her thoughts and feelings due to the nature of these serious questions to ask a girl. Work your way through the list and inspire a meaningful conversation that’s sure to create a connection between the two of you.

If you’re looking to find some deep conversation starters with a girl, you’ve come to the right place! These thoughtful questions to ask a girl are the perfect way to start an incredible discussion with your girlfriend, or someone else.

Best Deep Questions To Ask A Girl

Best Deep Questions to Ask A Girl
  • What 3 qualities do you look for in a partner?
  • What 3 things are most important for maintaining a healthy and enjoyable long-term relationship?
  • Which of your closest friends has had the most positive impact on your life and why?
  • Do you feel you are close enough to your family? Is there anything you would change to improve things?
  • What actions make you feel loved and appreciated in a relationship?
  • What goals would you most like to achieve over the next 5 years?
  • Do you see children in your future?
  • What qualities would you look for in a man to consider starting a family together?
  • What principles do you feel are most important when bringing up a family?
  • Are you happy with where you are in your career? Do you feel appreciated in the workplace?
  • Is there anything in the past you were working toward which you gave up on, but you’d love to try to finish?
  • What skill or interest would you most like to learn/pursue this year?
  • Who out of your friends do you feel you could most rely on if you need help or guidance in a difficult time?
  • If you didn’t need to worry about money, what would you choose to do with your time?
  • Do you ever imagine yourself as an old woman? What do you think your life will be like?
  • Do you have any personality traits you would love not to have, or improve on?
  • Do you like the size of your friendship group, or would you rather it was more intimate?
  • Would you move to a remote location with a partner if you really loved them?
  • If your partner was unfaithful, under what circumstances do you think you could forgive them?
  • If your best friend was cheating on their partner, how would you manage that situation?

You Might Also Like: Flirty questions to ask a girl

  • Which 3 famous people would you choose to have dinner with?
  • Which famous person would you most like to get drunk with?
  • What controversial opinion do you have, but usually keep to yourself?
  • Were there any events in your life that you feel made you suddenly grow up fast?
  • Which childhood memory really sticks out for you?
  • What do you most enjoy about your job? If that wasn’t there, would you still do it?
  • What’s your love language (as in the way you feel loved)?
  • Is there a connection between physical and emotional intimacy or are they separate?
  • What is the main thing that attracts you to someone?
  • Is marriage just a legal agreement or is there a greater meaning to it?
  • Who or what has been your greatest influence?
  • Where do morals come from? Why do we disagree on what’s right and wrong?
  • What’s the most important part of a relationship for you?
  • Do you have to feel a spark with someone even if in every other way you make a good couple?
  • Do you think there’s a disparity between culture’s view of sex as meaningless, but also incredibly important at the same time?
  • Do you think keeping sex for marriage is an old-fashioned view or is there wisdom in this?
  • Have you ever told someone you were in love with them? In hindsight, were you correct?
  • Why do you think there are so many people who are lonely? Why is it so hard for people to make real connections?
  • What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?
  • Does having children strengthen or weaken a marriage? Why?
  • What are the main things that cause relationships or marriages to break up?
  • Have you ever done online dating? What’s your opinion of it?
  • In what ways is the present better than the past? In what ways is the past better than the present?
  • What’s the most important trait in a boyfriend/partner/spouse?
  • Is it important to be physically attracted to someone?

You Might Also Like: How To Build A Connection With A Woman

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  • What are some traits that make a good father?
  • Are you a big cuddler or do you find too much physical contact overbearing?
  • What does it mean to be a man or a woman?
  • Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you even think those labels are helpful?
  • Are you very conscious of your appearance or are you confident about it?
  • What’s the meaning of life? Is it different for each person or is there one universal meaning for all?
  • How often do you lie? Do you think you’re always aware of when you do?
  • What’s your perfect lazy Sunday afternoon date?
  • What are the things that make you feel safe?
  • What was the worst date you’ve ever been on?
Deep Questions to Ask a Girl about good fathers

You might also like: Flirty first date questions

  • Do you use social media? If you do, does it bother you how much you use it?
  • Would you consider yourself a religious or spiritual person?
  • If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live and why?
  • Do you believe in progress? In what ways has society progressed and in what ways have we regressed?
  • Is there someone or something you would die for?
  • What are you passionate about? Work? Friends? Politics?
  • What are your thoughts on abortion?
  • How much do you ‘buy in’ to our culture’s consumerist attitude?
  • Who are your best friends and are they the friends you see most regularly?
  • Where in life would you want to be in ten years?

You might also like: Second date questions

  • Is there some part of your personality that you dislike? Why do you dislike it and why are you like that?
  • What wisdom have you learned that you would want to teach your children?
  • What’s the worst thing your parents installed in you?
  • What is the most fabulous holiday you’ve been on?
  • What was the best gift you got when you were growing up?
  • Ideally, do you think children need a mother and a father?
  • What most attracts you to me?
  • Have you ever been set up with someone for a date?
  • If you have children, do you think you’ll use a lot of discipline to teach them what’s right and wrong?
  • How do you feel about conflict? Do you shy away from it? Do you think it can help some situations?
  • What way would you like to better yourself? Why haven’t you yet?
  • Do you think your expectation of having children is wildly out of touch with the stinky, noisy reality?
  • If you have children, do you think you’d be tempted to try to achieve certain dreams or goals through them?
  • How did your family do presents for birthdays or Christmas when you were growing up?
  • Are you an anxious person or are you more chilled out?
  • When you share problems, do you want advice or just someone to listen to you?
  • Would you prefer to be rich but have a loveless marriage or poor with a loving marriage?
  • What would you have done in Nazi Germany? Do you think you’d have gone along with it all or spoken out against it?
  • Is everyone equal? What about abilities or skills? Would you save a stranger or friend in a fire?
  • Why are TV shows and movies becoming more violent? Is it strange that we relax to such entertainment?
Deep Questions to Ask a Girl about dates

Next: Funny first date questions

  • What was the best date you’ve ever been on?
  • With so many people in the world, why is it hard for people to find someone to spend their life with?
  • If you were the leader of your country, what would be the first change you make?
  • How did your family do holidays when you were growing up?
  • Is it inevitable for politicians to become power-hungry and corrupt? Is this due to human beings or the system we have in place?
  • Are there any goals, not part of your career you want to achieve by the end of your life?
  • Should people be jailed for the things they say? What about freedom of speech? Who regulates what’s right and wrong to say?
  • If your country was taken over by a corrupt government or war, which country would you flee to?
  • What part of your body are you most self-conscious about?
  • We all had dreams when we were younger. Only very few achieve them. Why do you think this is?
  • Have you ever lied to a boyfriend or partner?
  • Is there a genetic trait in your family you worry you may pass onto your children?
  • What in society are we irrationally afraid of? What are we not afraid of enough?
  • How long would you want to date someone before you get married to them?
  • How would you raise your children differently from how your parents raised you?
  • How do you imagine your wedding day?
  • Do you believe in God or some kind of creator?
  • What are your thoughts on homelessness? Should people always be helped, or is there a point where they have to pull themselves up?
  • When was the last time you cried out of sadness? When was the last time you cried out of joy?
  • Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?

You might also like: Speed dating questions

  • What was your longest relationship? Have you been married or engaged before?
  • If you want to relax, what’s the thing you’re most likely to do?
  • When would be too soon be for a marriage proposal?
  • Do you think that humans as a species have gotten better through the generations or worse? Why?
  • How important is it that your boyfriend/spouse/partner has a well-paid job? How about a job that is better paid than yours?
  • Are you into music, TV, books, or movies? What are your favorites of these?
  • Do you believe that opposites attract, or is that a lot of rubbish?
  • How responsible are people for their actions? What would pardon someone’s bad behavior?
  • Do you want children someday? How many do you want?
  • If you were going through marriage problems, who would you turn to? A friend or marriage counselor?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you believe in ‘the one’?
  • What are your parents or family like? Are your parents still together?
  • Would you want to be a full-time mother, have a husband as a full-time father, or send the children to daycare if you had children?
  • Do you keep any barriers up to others in some way to protect yourself?
  • Are you hopeful for the future or do you feel anxious about it?
  • What age is too young or too old to get married?
  • What are your political views? Is there anything you’re very passionate about in politics?
  • Do you like cooking or do you prefer someone else to cook for you?
  • Would you want to live with someone first before getting married, or wait until marriage for that?
  • What are your thoughts on the depiction of love and romance we see in movies?

Next: Flirty questions to ask your crush

  • Can members of the opposite sex be just friends? How would you feel if your boyfriend met up with other women as friends?
  • Do you want to keep sex until marriage?
  • Do you enjoy kissing or do you find it overrated?
  • Have you ever been through heartbreak? What happened?
  • When you were a child, what did you want to be when you were older?
  • What do you believe happens once we die?
  • What’s your relationship with your parents like?
  • What hobbies do you have? Do they cost a lot to upkeep?
  • What’s an overrated part of marriage? What’s an underrated part of marriage?
  • What kind of dates do you enjoy?
  • Have you ever ‘ghosted’ someone after a date? Why did you do this?
  • What’s the greatest lesson you’ve ever learned?
  • What would someone have to do for you to become unattracted to them?
  • Should the jobs within marriage be divided between the two or shared?
  • What is your biggest regret? Would you change it if you could?
  • What’s your greatest fear?
  • How would you navigate your children’s access to the internet and social media?
  • Is there something secret that you’ve never told anyone but would one day tell your spouse?
  • Would you ever renew your wedding vows? What do you think is the point of doing that?
  • If you were to have a mid-life crisis, what do you think you’d end up doing as part of it?

Next: Questions to ask your crush

  • Where do your values come from?
  • Do you have a bucket list? Why or why not? What’s on it, or what would be on it?
  • If today was your last day alive, what would you do?
  • Would you prefer an expensive wedding ring from a posh jeweler or a family ring that has lots of meaning?
  • How did your parents spend money when you were growing up? Do you spend in a similar way?
  • How many dates would you go on before making a relationship official?
  • Do you worry about being a mother? What worries you?
  • Can you keep a secret or do you struggle not to gossip with friends?
  • If you could tell your fifteen-year-old self one thing, what would you say to them?
  • Do you prefer relaxing holidays or activity holidays?
  • What’s the most memorable moment of your life?
  • What makes life worth living for you?
  • What beliefs or values would someone have to have for you not to have a second date with them?
  • What do you do when stressful situations come your way?
  • Who has died that you miss spending time with the most?
  • What do you need in your life to make you happy?
  • Fulfilling job, fulfilling relationship, fulfilling friendships, what order would you rank these in?
  • What is your favorite spot in the village/town/city where you live?
  • Do you have a pet? Would you break up with someone if they flatly refused to have one?
  • Who would you consider your family?
  • Who was your biggest high school crush?
  • What would your perfect home be like?
  • Do you like new things in life or for things to stay the same?
  • What’s an enjoyable exercise for you to do?
  • Would you prefer to watch a sunrise or a sunset?
  • What has most changed your life either for the better or worse?
  • Do you hope your children will become teenagers similar to how you were or not at all?
  • What do you feel your life lacks?
  • Do you have any tattoos?
  • Have you ever found it hard to accept someone rejecting you?
  • Are you a prideful person or find it easy to be humble about yourself?
  • Where do you shop the most?
  • Is it OK to kiss on a first date?
  • Do you have a favorite pub or restaurant?
  • Is there a children’s book or movie you still like to read or watch now you are older?
  • Are you sensitive and in touch with your emotions?
  • If you had all the money in the world, what date would you go on?
  • Do you receive letters from anyone? Would you like to?
  • If you were famous, would you use your fame to help others or for your own desires?
  • What superpower would you have if you could have any power?

Looking For More Questions?

Questions to get to know someone – This is a great set of questions to ask someone you’ve just met or would like to know better regardless of whether they’re male or female.

This or that questions – Some fun questions to liven up your conversations. A great counterpoint to the more serious questions on this list.

First date questions – If you’re wondering what to ask on a first date, these are the talking points you should bring up.

A photo of Tom who is the Co-Founder of Questions About Everything

Tom Stevenson

Co-Founder of Questions About Everything

Tom is a travel writer and Co-Founder of Questions About Everything. He grew up in the UK and enjoys spending his time traveling to new places, supporting Liverpool FC, and blogging about his adventures. He spent two years teaching English in Barcelona and frequently utilized question games and conversation starters as part of his lesson plans. As an EFL teacher, he took full responsibility for planning and delivering lessons, frequently employing creative and diverse questions to engage the children in conversation. Learn more about Tom on our About page.